General,  Musings

Haunted

Social media can be a wonderful and positive thing, but at the moment, I am contemplating severely limiting my participation.  There are people from my past on there, that whilst I have chosen not to be on contact, are still there, and still lurk in my memory banks.  One in particular, who haunts my waking hours far too much, and if I am to be completely honest, bothers me too much.  I am, in moments of weakness drawn to checking facebook accounts, and seeing if anyone has died.  When they have not, it leaves me cold, and almost disappointed.  I am ashamed to admit that, but admit it I do.  Photographs of recent times that I have not shared, haunt me as much as distant memories that were real once, but waver so much that I cannot be sure.  On top of this, another wayward soul, who I consigned to my own scrapheap has phoned several times, withholding their number, and in an oddly familiar way, states “Wrong number”.  Like a fish and a maggot, I feel the urge, but just manage to hold back.  How long will this last though….Will that moment of weakness come over the Christmas period, where I give in and communicate?  I truly hope I am not in that position.  Why should one day be different to another?  Strength can be taken and given away.

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